My personal thinspo (taken by Lovely Libby!)

I miss my diet pills...

I feel so weak for wanting them back. i miss the energy, and the lack of hunger- all i do is snack 24/7 now. its so gross. i haven't gotten on a scale yet- but i just know Ive gained weight. im going to get so fat and ugly and awful and i just want to go die in my room alone. i cant do this. im not ready- im too weak...

I wont buy more pills though- because i cant hurt you again... but this is killing me. i just want to be thin! why are you so against it? i am not really that thin anyway. im not in danger. you are overreacting. please let me be thin... please, please, please :'(

Big fat pig!

You disgust me. You have no will-power. You are a failure. You make every anorexic out there- ashamed and they hate you. You cant do anything right. Not even lose your fat ass. Ugh. Pathetic.

Real world.

Reality is cold
Life is unfair
Love is conditional
Trust gets broken
Friends disappear
Hopes are crushed
Dreams will fade
Wishes are lost
Gifts are returned
Acceptance is refuted
Direction can morph
Secrets get told
Freedom is taken
Growth can stall
Safety is an illusion
Warmth will diminish
Heroes can lie
Energy gets spent
Joy shall elude us
Saviors are pretend
Security won't last
Calm comes from chaos
Purpose will change
Value is diminished

here i am.

At new therapists office

Who knows how this is going to go. I am going to try to be honest, but im so scared he will lock me up if he knew I was so suicidal and so obsessed with my weight... :/

Lets just hope he is patient with my fears...

I am fat.

a fat fucking loser and no one will ever love the fat girl with daddy issues. no one. you stupid cunt! just stop eating and maybe show a tad bit of self control and you wont be bulging over your pants and having marks left from too tight tops. you fucking disgust me. i hope you die. i hope you slit your wrists and bleed out and die. but, you wont. because you're a big fucking failure. god, the world should do itself a favor and remove you from society. you are nothing. NOTHING!

meal plan

sick of the thighs

so, I am not sure if this will be about recovery- or if it will just be my personal blog of ana struggles.

hello all 0 followers i have accumulated already, its nice to meet you. as lonely as i am; i do not mind one bit if no one ever reads anything i post here. this will be where i will rant, cry, and celebrate as i try to make it through each day. join me if you would like, and if you dont- i dont mind :) i am doing this for me!