I miss my diet pills...

I feel so weak for wanting them back. i miss the energy, and the lack of hunger- all i do is snack 24/7 now. its so gross. i haven't gotten on a scale yet- but i just know Ive gained weight. im going to get so fat and ugly and awful and i just want to go die in my room alone. i cant do this. im not ready- im too weak...

I wont buy more pills though- because i cant hurt you again... but this is killing me. i just want to be thin! why are you so against it? i am not really that thin anyway. im not in danger. you are overreacting. please let me be thin... please, please, please :'(

Dear, stop exercising:

And i mean, what else am i going to do? Sit around and let all the food I've been eating ruin all the hard work I've put into this body?! Not going to happen. Im going to be lovely. You should be happy im working out. Im sure youd love my body covered in fat rolls and cellulite. Im sure youd love it if i was too fat to have sex without passing out. You want me to be fat?! No! I didnt think so, so back off!

Big fat pig!

You disgust me. You have no will-power. You are a failure. You make every anorexic out there- ashamed and they hate you. You cant do anything right. Not even lose your fat ass. Ugh. Pathetic.

here i am.

I am fat.

a fat fucking loser and no one will ever love the fat girl with daddy issues. no one. you stupid cunt! just stop eating and maybe show a tad bit of self control and you wont be bulging over your pants and having marks left from too tight tops. you fucking disgust me. i hope you die. i hope you slit your wrists and bleed out and die. but, you wont. because you're a big fucking failure. god, the world should do itself a favor and remove you from society. you are nothing. NOTHING!

meal plan

sick of the thighs

Pound by pound