Stats

Cw: ? Im scared to weigh myself
Lw: 117.8
Gw: 115
Ugw: 100

house all to myself ALL WEEKEND!

fasting until i pass out and have to call in sick this weekend. >:)

I miss my diet pills...

I feel so weak for wanting them back. i miss the energy, and the lack of hunger- all i do is snack 24/7 now. its so gross. i haven't gotten on a scale yet- but i just know Ive gained weight. im going to get so fat and ugly and awful and i just want to go die in my room alone. i cant do this. im not ready- im too weak...

I wont buy more pills though- because i cant hurt you again... but this is killing me. i just want to be thin! why are you so against it? i am not really that thin anyway. im not in danger. you are overreacting. please let me be thin... please, please, please :'(

Im fucking fat.

Im so sorry ... but no dinner. Ive got goldfish and water to keep me alive tonight at work- but the mere thought of taking in over 600 calories on purpose in one day: makes me want to purge until my body gives out on the floor. I cant do this. Im such a failure. I wish i were dead. I would rather be dead than get fat. I cant... i just cant... :'( please forgive me. </3

Almost 300 calories for breakfast ...

Someone kill me, please ... :'(

Starting recovery ...

I've given up all diet aids and laxatives /diuretics. Im so scared im going to get so fucking fat... :'(

i cut so much... damn, just walking hurts :'(

cw:119.8lbs


breakfast: nothing (0)
lunch: egg white, green bell pepper, pepper jack cheese burrito (300), applesauce (50) and juice/tea (15)
dinner: well see when i get there. if i can- i will eat. if i cant- its  okay. its one meal. im taking each meal as it comes.

starting to look at diet/nutrition plans for recovering anorexics. not crazy about the ultra high cal counts- but im taking my life back, starting today.