Pro-Ana and recovery posts, depending on how I feel that day. I am looking for an Ana buddy! pref: female, 17-23 years old, CW around 125lbs
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Just A Few Low Cal Recipes :)
Friday, July 19, 2013
I haven't been on in a while...
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Im scared as fucking hell...
On monday i start at the emily program and i just dont even know if i can do it. Sunday will be so stressful -i will either end up binging or not eating anything- and either way, i will be motivated to lose weight even more. Im such a failure at recovery... im not sure i even want to try anymore. :'(
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
My lunker thighs are gross!
Definition of lunker: something unusually large for its kind. Read More: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lunker Learn more word meanings at http://dictionary.com Sent from my Dictionary.com Android App
Friday, May 31, 2013
stats- in case anyone is interested?
lw: 115lbs
gw:115lbs
ugw:100lbs
Weightless by Mi
Hi, my name is Ana and I'm here to save you
Very smart of you to call me
We will work together and we'll leave no footprints
We'll have wings eventually
I want to embrace you
I will help you to control
I will hurt like hell
I will swallow your sweet soul
It will be nailed to your jawbone
It is painted on the mirror
Stripped to the bone
to the soul to the I don't know
Stripped to the core to the matter
to the flesh and oh!
Stripped to the four in the morning lies
and lullabies
Stripped without clothes without dirt
without baggage without consciousness and you are weightless
So just be a good girl and please follow my rules
Don't forget I'm taking over
Transparent is what you'll be in no time if you're
Taking life in stone cold sober
I want to embrace you
I will make you steal and lie
I will hurt like hell
I will kill you in no time
Everyone's your enemy
You find your worst fears in me
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Would i be perfect, yet?
The Ana Bible
This is the part that I think is the most impacting:
"...The Thin Commandments
1.If you aren't thin you aren't attractive.
2.Being thin is more important than being healthy.
3.You must buy clothes, cut your hair, take laxatives, starve
yourself, do anything to make yourself look thinner.
4.Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty.
5.Thou shall not eat fattening food without punishing oneself
afterwards.
6.Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly.
7.What the scale says is the most important thing.
8.Losing weight is good/gaining weight is bad.
9.You can never be too thin.
10.Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and
success."
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Well thanks, mom.
Your "pep talk", has let me keep my intake lower than ever before.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Stats
Cw: ? Im scared to weigh myself
Lw: 117.8
Gw: 115
Ugw: 100
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
house all to myself ALL WEEKEND!
Monday, April 29, 2013
I miss my diet pills...
I wont buy more pills though- because i cant hurt you again... but this is killing me. i just want to be thin! why are you so against it? i am not really that thin anyway. im not in danger. you are overreacting. please let me be thin... please, please, please :'(
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Im fucking fat.
Im so sorry ... but no dinner. Ive got goldfish and water to keep me alive tonight at work- but the mere thought of taking in over 600 calories on purpose in one day: makes me want to purge until my body gives out on the floor. I cant do this. Im such a failure. I wish i were dead. I would rather be dead than get fat. I cant... i just cant... :'( please forgive me. </3
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Starting recovery ...
I've given up all diet aids and laxatives /diuretics. Im so scared im going to get so fucking fat... :'(
Friday, April 26, 2013
cw:119.8lbs
breakfast: nothing (0)
lunch: egg white, green bell pepper, pepper jack cheese burrito (300), applesauce (50) and juice/tea (15)
dinner: well see when i get there. if i can- i will eat. if i cant- its okay. its one meal. im taking each meal as it comes.
starting to look at diet/nutrition plans for recovering anorexics. not crazy about the ultra high cal counts- but im taking my life back, starting today.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Dear, stop exercising:
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
stats
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Big fat pig!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Yesterday
Yesterday i had over 1500 calories. Ana is furious with me. The scale will show what a fucking fat ass i have become. I always do this! I get my weight to a low point, and then i eat like a fucking cow. I cant even look at my reflection without tears swelling from my eyes and spilling over so they can run down every inch of blubber on my body. I will never be perfect if i eat like a big fat whore. I punished myself- cutting up my forearm, and letting my blood drip onto my Thinspo collage. Never every time i see it, i will be reminded what the alternative to perfection is.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Going to try not to weigh myself again today...
But...This morning i was down to 121!!! Woot XD
Must learn how to hide it better...
Rules:
Don't mention calories in food
Don't talk about your weight
Don't put up a fit about eating something with the family
Don't count calories in front of others
Never purge at home
Don't brag about weight-loss
Try to eat something in front of family or friends
Don't workout at home (unless everyone else is gone/sleeping)
Avoid going out to eat at all costs
Don't make thinspo at home
When faced with a large calorie meal, simple drink as much water as possible
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Making an Anorexia Collage
CW: 122lbs :D
GW: 115lbs (by May 11th)